ARNOLD'S PURPLE SPEEDO!
Innovations in 'Voter Contact'
 
CONFIDENTIAL Memorandum for the Governor:

Fr:  [Redacted]
TO:  GOVERNOR SCHWARZENEGGER
Re:  'SPEEDO VOTER CONTACT' / POLLING DATA

As much as you love your Sunday afternoons greeting voters in a pink or purple Speedo, our latest internals from tracking polls and a focus group show this emerging as the sleeper issue for the 2005 mid-term.

Of course the 'Speedo Voter Contact' program is your idea and initiative, and you are fond of being seen as the 'Action' Governor, but clearly the messaging plan on voter contact in a pink or purple Speedo needs work.
 
Please refer to this photo and to the data and 'action' plan that follow.

What's troubling is this picture never showed up on the wires, but it's been circulating on the internet for months, and is changing the public's impression of your image in ways never before fully appreciated.

A)  POLLING DATA

Among likelies from our polling of 10 days ago, the Speedo issue now ranks 4th, at 7 percent, in rank order of volunteered concerns (see Question #14), behind budget (24%), education (18%), and ethics (9%).

This compares to Speedo's 2 percent response in February.

What's particularly noteworthy from this data set is 'Speedo' is an answer to an open-ended question about common policy concerns.  In other words, the poll's responders could provide any answer they thought of, and were not presented with a list of options to choose from.

B) FOCUS GROUP

We then put the Speedo issue to last week's Bakersfield focus group.

We showed a roomful of registered voters two photos of recent Speedo Voter Contact' appearances, the photo above from Black's Beach and another from the very first Pink Speedo event in March at Malibu Beach.

Before you implemented the 'Speedo Voter Contact' program last December, beginning with a trial run during your French Caribbean vacation, we had no prior data set to work from to properly analyze the public's interest level and the intensity of their feelings on the subject
.
Your 'Speedo Voter Contact' program is fertile ground for polling.

So we kept the Bakersfield focus group question simple:

"Pink or purple?".

We didn't get a preferred response though (tape #467, 02:34:45):

Upon seeing a photo of you in either a pink or purple Speedo, nearly 72 percent voluntarily exclaimed "EWWWWWWWWW".
 
[ To observe a common reaction, watch the focus group tape and note the look of horror on the face of the woman in red. ]

Perhaps this could be explained because a man in the room noticed your pink fingernails and pointed it out to the rest of the group:

Frankly, Governor, despite what your blind trust advisor says, good common sense means you need to stop wearing nail polish In public.
 
[Of course what you do in private is entirely up to you.]

Besides, if you keep this "Arnold LOVES HOT PINK" public campaign up for too much longer there will be Skelton, Weintraub, and Stewart columns in dozens of papers about your emerging sissified tendencies.

Then your numbers will plummet, further damaging fundraising.

At the very least you should authorize a question or two on color choices or shading of favorite types of pink in next month's poll.

We did find a silver lining in the focus group, it seems.

The respondents universally liked your new favorite hat, thankfully.

I will have some talking points on effective messaging of your 'Speedo Voter Contact' initiative by next week's Communications Strategy Team conference call.
 
Oh, and before I forget: I'm still not thought through your idea inspired by the Black's Beach event, with an Arnold Schwarzenegger "No Speedo at All" meet-and-greet the next time you are in the San Diego TV market,  to relive your days of 'behaving badly' back in the 70's

Clearly we'd have to poll that option before such an event was put on the block schedule, although the earned TV may be worth the risk.

Besides, if your numbers keep plummeting like in recent months, anything you do won't matter much, since it's 'Game Ovah' for Governor Girlie Man.
 
Then you can look forward to a nice life occupying the upper-left hand corner chair - "I'd like Arnold Schwarzenegger to block, please" - on the next version of Hollywood Squares.

Please advise.

BELOW IS STUFF ARNOLD DOES NOT WANT YOU TO SEE:

See Arnold Dance

Win his money!

Boy, he's fast!

It's Payback time!

Solve the Puzzle!

Great for Mosquitoes

A Leaked Memo...

Lassie's Favorite

Arnold's Favorite
 

Our 'Best of' Collection
 

 

Send this page to a friend!

Your Name:
Your Email:
Friend's Name:
Friend's Email: