Arnold Dog Food
Lassie's Favorite "If we don't seek to stop it, anybody would try to use Arnold's image for commercial purposes whether they are selling toilet seats, porn products, or dog food," Oak lawyer Marty Singer said at the time. [Source: Agence Presse-France, 2004]
That's ' Mad Dog' Marty Singer, Arnold's $400 per hour Beverly Hills trial lawyer, quoted in a desperate attempt to justify the frivolous shakedown lawsuit that thwarted sale of a bobblehead sold for a cancer charity.
Back then the quote really didn't register. But now it has, and it's deliciously ironic:
Arnold Schwarzenegger Dog Food.
In tribute, we're branding it 'Mad' Dog Food, featuring Arnold in his standard pink dress. Take a look:
Arnold Schwarzenegger Dog Food -- appropriate for a Governor once described by Newsweek magazine as a "dull clod....a human collage of pectorals......who's got less style and wit than Lassie." Two quick phone calls and Governor Girlie Man's suddenly in the dog food business, thanks to private labeling and a color copier.
Credit Marty Singer, Arnold's 'Pit Bull' trial lawyer, for the new product idea. Any other brilliant suggestions, 'Mad Dog'? (Although we're not keen on your ideas on toilet seats or porn products -- but those Arnold Schwarzenegger urinal cakes make perfect sense.) Anything to keep 'Mad Dog' in Maria Shriver's dog house for a bit. Or keep Arnold's trial lawyer on a very short leash.
"Schwarzenegger lawyer Martin Singer said Wednesday that he won't discuss potential litigation over the "girlie man" figurine until he sees the bobblehead and its packaging. "If it's classic satire, no one's going to bring any claim," Singer said. "I don't know whether it is or not, and I'm not going to give an advisory (opinion)." " [Source: 'Girlieman Figurine Aims to Make Point' , Margaret Talev, Sacramento Bee, September 11, 2004]. In other words, Arnold's private attorney now concedes it's OK to satirize Arnold Schwarzenegger now that he's Governor, a public official. But didn't Singer argue vehemently the exact opposite in the original lawsuit? So no wonder Arnold failed, dropped the suit and won't sue again: his own lawyer seems to have turned on him. Or there's this: "He's not a respectable lawyer. He intends to use his power to destroy anyone who stands in the way of his client's interests, no matter how unjustifiable those interests are, no matter how innocent his victims are. His chief tool is intimidation. He's not interested in a debate. He's interested in destruction.So if you're going to send Martin D. Singer a message, you don't do it nicely. The only way to reach him that I can conceive is to humiliate his client, demonstrating to Singer that his thug-like tactics can have ironic consequences. He needs to learn a couple lessons: His client is not above the law, and, especially when he attacks fair use, his victims are not the only ones who will strike back. If Singer tries to shield a client from criticism--the governor, to boot--using behind-the-scenes legal threats, he needs to know just how badly that behavior can blow up in his face." [Source: Slumdance.com blog of Brian Flemming] Or this, involving another prominent Singer client with interests shredded, from the Drudge Report, Sunday, May 8, 2005: "AMERICAN IDOL judge Paula Abdul feared ABCNEWS was investigating drug use for its PRIMETIME LIVE special, sources claim. Or consider this too, from the San Francisco Chronicle, April 17, 2005: "Singer threatened British television interviewer Anna Richardson with a lawsuit were she to pursue a defamation case against Schwarzenegger, warning her "You proceed at your peril." No countersuit has been filed, but according to the San Francisco Chronicle, "Richardson said she was offended by the lawyers' "bullying, high-handed, and gratuitously rude tone. "Seemingly Richardson filed the suit, which has cost Schwarzenegger $1 million to defend, because of 'Mad Dog' Marty Singer. No wonder Arnold's trial lawyer is in Maria's dog house. And finally, from Agence Press-France in May, 2004. There's this: "Singer said if the Ohio-based firm had agreed to discuss the issue, Schwarzenegger would even have considered giving them permission to make a 'different kind' of bobblehead doll using his image provided the proceeds went to the charity. "Indeed, Governor Schwarzenegger faces perhaps six years of a 'different kind' of bobblehead -- of 'Arnold in a Pink Dress,' to help a charity -- because 'Mad Dog' Marty Singer confused property rights with constitutional law, and still won't admit to his having stepped in it. Having dug Arnold into a hole for six years, 'Mad Dog' just keeps on digging. Thanks to the First Amendment, we don't need Arnold's permission to make a satirical "Arnold in a Pink Dress" bobblehead, condom, or thong -- nor do we need consent for 'Mad' Dog Food under the Governor Girlie Man label. Because at this point we're making a political statement about every Americans' right to make a political statement. Kind of hard to argue, scream or bully your way out of that dog-chasing-its-tail argument. Invariably 'Mad Dog' will also have to chew on this: How soon does one of Maria's many friends tell Maria who then tells Arnold that his own lawyer inspired Arnold Schwarzenegger Dog Food, and nothing can be done to stop it? |
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